This old sketch and some threads on Reddit I read a few days ago rake over old ashes.

In the past, when I studied in Saigon, I was an idle and wild uni-boy, so I usually flunked a few subjects every semester. One before the Tet holiday that year, as usual, I dropped 2, and suddenly that morning my dad called me to ask how I was doing in the exam. I was carefree to say I had to stay another week to retake a few subjects, but also I heard my house was a bit noisy. He smiled and said so, we are cleaning the house for Tet, also you can rest assured about taking the exam, don't worry. It wasn't until the week after I had finished the exam that Dad called back to tell me, that my grandma had passed away a week before. It was the first time in my life that I lost a loved one and couldn't see her last, so my heart suddenly collapsed, tears flowed out, my dad's voice cracked when he heard that and we both cried over the phone.

My grandma suffered from Parkinson's disease so although she was very weak, she was still lucid and respectful. Usually when she wanted to stand up or lie down, she needed help but she was afraid to call for help, if she did, she would call politely and say thank you. I also helped but sometimes was a bit irritable and raised my voice at her. I was only told later that in the last days of her life, she suffered greatly. This and the last inability to see her still weigh on my mind to now...